Your friends are what make you... you! We aren't talking about acquaintances or that larger group you occasionally hang out with, or friends of friends. No, I'm talking about those special few who are true friends. The ones you know you can count on.
"All these places had their moments / With lovers and friends, I still can recall / Some are dead, and some are living / In my life, I've loved them all"- Beatles, 1965. I remember hearing this song for the first time back in 1965. I was in the 5th grade in elementary school. Even at that young age, I thought, "What great lyrics!" At ten years old, my life was still in infancy, and these words would come to mean much more as I grew older.
We're kind of stuck with family that are our blood relatives, but you also have that family that you pick. That family might be relatives, but mostly.... it is made up of your close friends.
The Glue That Keeps Us Together
Is there someone you grew up with whom you now only speak to occasionally, but when you do, the conversation resumes as if no time has passed? What made those friendships special for you? What influences did they have on you or you on them? Has it been a while since you've thought about it?
Take a few minutes to reflect on your special group or that one person. What is the glue that has kept you together? Some of these relationships might go back only a few years, while others go back to childhood. What element has kept you connected?
I was lucky to have married my best friend, and her loss has been tough to bear these past months. But my special friends have been a warm support group, helping me through this period. (Sidenote: A heartfelt thank you to all who have reached out and sent such lovely condolences.) Whether it's just a meeting for dinner or lunch or a phone call to check on me, it's been much appreciated. Just a few weeks ago, some friends invited me to take a drive up to the mountains and have a picnic. It was a beautiful sunshiny day, 65-degree weather, a glass of wine with some fruit and cheese, and I just totally let go of all my worries.
Yeah… friends.
So, who are your friends, and how long have you known them? Because those relationships are what make you…you!
By David Edge
David Edge is a retirement lifestyle writer and contributor to the ARA monthly newsletter. His articles blend personal stories with practical insights on living well in retirement.
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Easy Eddie's Take
David really touches on something important here. Research from the National Institute on Aging shows that strong friendships in retirement can actually improve your health and add years to your life. People often ask me, "How do I maintain friendships when I'm retired and my routine changes completely?" The good news is that retirement actually gives you more time to nurture those relationships that matter most.
Here's what I've seen work for folks: Schedule regular coffee dates or phone calls, just like David's friends did with that mountain picnic. Join groups around your interests, whether that's through senior centers, community colleges, or volunteer organizations. Many of my clients in Arizona have found great friendships through hiking groups, book clubs, or even pickle ball leagues. The key is being intentional about it, because those deep friendships don't just happen by accident.
And remember, it's never too late to reach out to an old friend. That person you grew up with? They're probably thinking about you too. A little effort to stay connected can make all the difference in how rich and meaningful your retirement years become.