Yes, if everyone says yes.
Our family meeting guide puts it this way, on the page for getting ready: "Record it. A phone on the table is all it takes, and the stories are saved in your own voices. Ask everyone first, including anyone on video, and record only if all say yes."
What do you need to record a family meeting?
A phone on the table. In the guide's words, that's all it takes.
The guide doesn't name an app, and it doesn't say where to keep the recording or how long it should run. It gives one reason to record: the stories are saved in your own voices.
Should you ask before you record?
Yes. The guide says to ask everyone first, including anyone on video, and to record only if all say yes.
It also hands you the words. The first of the guide's five steps is to open with why. Right after those opening words, it says: "If you're recording, ask first: 'Is everyone okay with this?'"
What if someone says no?
Then you don't record. "Only if all say yes" means one no is enough.
The guide doesn't say what happens next. Here is my reading, and it's mine: the meeting can go on without the phone.
Is there anything you shouldn't say on the recording?
Yes, your passcodes. In the guide's conversation about the phones, the note says: "Write the passcodes down and show where they are kept. Never say them out loud on the recording."
So the passcodes go on paper, and at the meeting you show where the paper is kept.
Who gets the recording afterward?
Everyone. The page for after the meeting says: "Send everyone the recording, including anyone who wasn't there."
That page has blanks to fill in, and one of them is "The recording is saved." The guide's list of words to say when it gets hard covers the same case: "Someone isn't there: send them the recording, and call them that week."
Does a recording replace notes?
The guide doesn't say that. The page for after the meeting also asks you to write down what you decided and keep it with your papers, and it has a space titled "What we decided."
So the guide asks for both: the recording, and your decisions on paper.
Won't a phone on the table change the conversation?
It might. The guide doesn't take that question on directly. What it does is make recording everyone's choice.
Here is how Eddie and Betty, the hosts of our podcast, work it out in the episode that goes with this article. They're getting ready for their own family meeting this Thanksgiving. Their son lives a flight away. This week they invited him, a seat or a screen, and told him what the meeting is about: three things. That settled him. Then he asked for one thing: record it. Whichever way he joins, he doesn't want to miss any of it.
Eddie doubts it. Put a phone on the table, he says, and nobody talks the way they really talk. Betty reads him the guide. It doesn't say record no matter what. It says ask everyone first, and only if all say yes.
That changes Eddie's mind. He had been thinking of a recording as something done to the family. The asking makes it something the family agrees to. Anyone who would go quiet has a say before the phone is on.
Then Betty says why their son asked. He didn't ask for a record of the meeting. He asked not to miss it.
What can you do tonight?
Start small. Try it once. Prop a phone on the table, talk for one minute, and play it back to hear whether everyone can be heard.
Then put the question where you'll see it at the meeting: "Is everyone okay with this?"
More questions about the family meeting: Who should be at your family meeting? and What should you talk about at a family meeting?
Where can you get the family meeting guide?
Everyone in the room at this month's Fiscal Fridays goes home with it. Fiscal Fridays is my dad's live monthly show at the American Retirement Advisors studio in Scottsdale. It's an educational talk show, and this month's theme is the family meeting.
It's this coming Friday, November 20, six days before Thanksgiving. Doors open at 10:00 AM Arizona time for coffee, and the show starts at 10:30 AM Arizona time. There's no cost. You can save a seat on the Fiscal Fridays page.
For education only. Not legal or tax advice.
Disclaimer: The information in this article is for educational purposes only and does not constitute tax, legal, or investment advice. Tax laws change frequently, and individual circumstances vary. American Retirement Advisors does not provide tax or legal services. Before making any tax-related decisions, consult a qualified CPA, tax attorney, or financial planner who can evaluate your specific situation.